damn my mothers boyfriends....

And ten days with dad was absolutly awesom! loved it, and didn't miss mum at all, even though i haven't said that to him or her. but it was hard to leave him. especially with out much warning. i mean mum calls, they're back in sydney, they're on their way to pick me up, blah blah. i hadn't even packed yet. bloody shit that he is sometimes, greg obvioulsy had to be somewhere, and was complaining at how long it was taking me to pack. so BLOODY ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeh he may have been ok for a while, but i have found that i really can't stand him at all. but thats life i guess. its just one frustrating hurdle after another, with some added bonuses of special someones of course :P

*sigh* such is life

well well well, what have we here. i am so happy at the moment. With matt, i couldn't be happier, he's all i've ever dreamed of and more. I just feel so at ease with him. its great. but i miss him. why are holidays always the busiest at the end of them? it sucks. especially when its all stuff that i can't get out of... sigh, oh well, i'll find time to see matt soon. i hope, cause i don't want to be without him. but we'll see.
back to school in less than a week, yr 11, very scary.... :S

i have the right to remain silent, what i lack is the capacity........... especially with sugar and coffee in my system :)

hey hey! how is the world on this bright and sunny day? oh its not bright and sunny? well sorry mister, but your going to have to have an attitude readjustment! if i say its a bright and sunny day, you just nod your head and smile! ok?!
well now thats the loony has been taken care of........
having a wall covered in bits of paper, is actually quite interesting! well for me anyway seeing as i can actually see soem sort of logic in it, though most people probably couldn't follow my line of thinking, but thats ok i guess....
sigh, after working on a story for like 6 months i guess, i'm in 16 pages, and have post-it notes all over my dads computer.... along with many late nights, and lots of coffee. I'd hate to think how many times i've played the no doubt cd this morning. hope the neighbours don't mind.....
well i'm going to leave this here, and venture back to December, Lotus, Leigh, Sally, Tony, Eliot, Charles, and whoever else i have to work on....
sigh, if only i could get matt out of my head for a little while. but then again, i like the inspiration, so, i'll let him stay. besides, he's in my heart now, so i don't want to get rid of him...

Oh holidays are fun aren't they?

well satying up til 2 in the morning is quite fun, until ou have to wake up that is. but still its all worth it. . .
i used to think after andre, that love was only for a lucky few, which could never include me again. but lately ive been thinking, that maybe i was wrong, yes, i;m admitting i might have been wrong, enjoy it while it lasts. . . but still, i never though i could find someone who was so perfect, he's gorgeous, smart, caring, he has a wicked sense of humor, and i could just talk to him forever.
All the same, it hardly seems real that such a person could find interest in me, but then at the same time, i know its true.
Ahh young love, tis what makes maddness seem like sanity. but then love is maddness in this world. and i'm about to be accepted into the institution of mental illness!
i can't stop thinking about him, its so strange, and i still have to wait a week before i can see him. . . . it feels like i've been asked to wait a lifetime. . .
well i'm sure your all tired of my ramblings, but the next chapter of December hasn't been co-operative, and so i thought i'd visit my blog, and give u all a little update :)
ta ta xo

mural mural on the wall, where is the art to cure it all?

Red red wine.... sigh, gotta love that song. brings a tear to my eyes..... well anyway moving on, i really hope i can make this year work. And my first goal is to draw that flipping scienc mural! its driving me up the wall! so anyone have any pictures of australian animals, any help is appreciated! :P
thanks!

BOOTS! I HAVE BOOTS!

Oh My God! Finally! I am the owner of black knee high lace up boots! :D so happy! :) i would be the happiest girl in the world were it not for miles sookyness at breaking up..... :( just ruins everything to have someone miserable over you... but still I HAVE BOOTS! :D yay!

Breaking Up . . .

Funny isn't it, how whe you think something is going to go really badly, and you prepare yourself for the worst, it invariably doesnt go badly at all, and it couldn't have gone beter if you had planned it! but still, enough glitches to make it interesting... *sigh* so thats it, i'm free....
Miles and i r now just friends, and i couldn't be more relieved. but, i can't help feeling a little guilty... *sigh* well i guess its ok, i mean he isn't ok, but better than expected...

Time heals all........

Something i wrote long ago, that was an attempt to explain things...

That which so drives me to mutilate my body, my body which houses my very soul and heart, is my heart itself. For it is my heart which so breaks and which so pains me that it is my will to retaliate. It is my heart which suffers me an unknown plight, and which tells my every emotion with callous harshness. For even when i am happy, my heart does rejoice til when it does hurt to do so. Unkind to mildness, my heart fails to provide me with stability. For always i fear i will remain in serverence to this tell-tele heart of mine. Until which point it may release me, and allow my tortured soul to fly free amongst the life of the world.

My soul is stifled by my heart. I fear i will one day soon loose my soul if it is not let breathe sweet air. My soul is battered and bruised. And while it is busied with the pleasures, pains, and plights of my heart, it also contends with my mind. Such it is that my mind and my soul become inseperable in their struggles and are reffered to as the same. My soul and mind, jointly serve and fight my heart, however my heart holds sway over such union in almost entire proportions.

Soul and mind set in eternal battle with the heart, the summary of an idea which explains such acts as self-mutilation. Such a thing as the harming of ones own body is by far one of the most personal issues. It involves all aspects of the mind, body, soul and heart. The heart which drives, the soul and body which suffers, and the mind, depending on its state, maddness, loss, victory, pain, or love, whice derives reason, concealment and meditation. The mind is often what troubles most people under such circumstances. Especially when the mind is unwilling to acknowledge the pain and suffering endured by the soul and body from the hearts cruelty. And then the mind which believes that the suffering is inevitable and will continue no matter what the minds actions. So on day appropriate may my soul be scattered to the wind, and my heart and mind rest.

Its 2005 aye?

Well i guess i slept through that one! lol, not really, NYE was awesome. seriously, party at p's was great, the veiw from her balcony was the best, but not that the night didn't have its bad and good points. breaking a nail for one, and well yeh no comment.... :P anyway, my one and only new years resolution, which i also made as a promise to graeme, is to take better care of myself, and not in the normal sense. so no more scars, and no more injuries ;) and thats a promise i'm definately going to keep :) Happy New Year everyone :)