Well tomorrow is the day, its back to school and the troubles therein.
Well i suppose it won't be too bad, things can only get better from where they are.
Basically that means that dad's on a bad run at the moment, and its a seriously bad one, not just a drunken delusional one. Theres some issues that have arisen, which are quite real, and so he is stressing out and drinking. Not such a good start to the school term. So, tonight has consisted of himpicking me up this afternoon, me making him let me drive, seeing as he wasn't really fit to drive. Then having a big yell and cry when he went to pour a drink, which in the end went down the sink. So talking then, then sending him off to sleep for a bit. Which was good, allowed me time to have a bath and chill out for a bit. Then come out, he wakes up, and so i get dinner, and then send him back to bed, slightly more sober.
So thats the lay of the land at the moment, dad is not good, but i'm coping, it seems, seeing as i'm still here. Mums coming over in the morning to take me to school and do the whole photo tradition that we have for first day back at school thing. I might head over to tom's after school for a swim or something, but we shall see what the day brings.
So dear ones, ciao and adios.
Kissy kissy xxx
Monday, January 30, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
Good evening!/Good Morning
Good evening good people of the word.
Well lets see, i'm fine, life is fine, and everything is under control.
Does that sound convincing?
Good, i thought so.
That never works does it? nor do these rhetoric questions.
So well lets see... Today i actually got up at a decent hour, being 10 to 9, and got ready, mum came round and stayed for a while, then she and i headed off to see my grandparents and take them shopping. That in itself was an interesting time. I didn't mean to, but i got frustrated with mum, because she would get distracted and go and look at something leaving my grandparents, one of whom is blind, the other who is unsteady on her feet, and given to bouts of depression, and who generally requires a fair amount of control and supervision, to go look at somethng in a window or whatever. I don't mind it so much when i know she has left them with me, but when i don't know it can be dangerous! i can't watch both of them at the same time.... But yeh, anyways, lunch and then dropping them home.
After such, mum and i went to Dee Why, and went to Spotlight, i got my fabric and a pattern for textiles, and ran into an old lady that mum knew from ages back. so that was interesting.
From there we went back to chatswood, and went to traget, and so on, shops and things, that was fun. Back to the apartment pick up some more of my things to take home, and then a slurred phone call from dad, and straight back to Forestville.
So thats how the story goes. I think from there it turns into a very tedious lament, which tries to be objectional....
so yes that was my day. Whic unfortunatly made me forget a lot of yesterday, but Australia Day was nice, good barbie with friends. It all worked. :)
so in conclusion, school goes back on Tuesday, I'm freaking out, and i'm seriously doubting my chances of making it to the end of the year,
but Heres to Hoping!!
Ciao my lovelies!
xxxooo
Well lets see, i'm fine, life is fine, and everything is under control.
Does that sound convincing?
Good, i thought so.
That never works does it? nor do these rhetoric questions.
So well lets see... Today i actually got up at a decent hour, being 10 to 9, and got ready, mum came round and stayed for a while, then she and i headed off to see my grandparents and take them shopping. That in itself was an interesting time. I didn't mean to, but i got frustrated with mum, because she would get distracted and go and look at something leaving my grandparents, one of whom is blind, the other who is unsteady on her feet, and given to bouts of depression, and who generally requires a fair amount of control and supervision, to go look at somethng in a window or whatever. I don't mind it so much when i know she has left them with me, but when i don't know it can be dangerous! i can't watch both of them at the same time.... But yeh, anyways, lunch and then dropping them home.
After such, mum and i went to Dee Why, and went to Spotlight, i got my fabric and a pattern for textiles, and ran into an old lady that mum knew from ages back. so that was interesting.
From there we went back to chatswood, and went to traget, and so on, shops and things, that was fun. Back to the apartment pick up some more of my things to take home, and then a slurred phone call from dad, and straight back to Forestville.
So thats how the story goes. I think from there it turns into a very tedious lament, which tries to be objectional....
so yes that was my day. Whic unfortunatly made me forget a lot of yesterday, but Australia Day was nice, good barbie with friends. It all worked. :)
so in conclusion, school goes back on Tuesday, I'm freaking out, and i'm seriously doubting my chances of making it to the end of the year,
but Heres to Hoping!!
Ciao my lovelies!
xxxooo
Monday, January 23, 2006
Procrastination
i am here to procrastinate, to stop myself from starting on my english essay...
i really don't want to do it, although i know i should because otherwise i have no chance of making it through year 12....
sigh, well i thinmk i shall go, make my bed, and read for a bit
maybe comb fudge, seeing as she is still wet from her bath...
later xoxo
i really don't want to do it, although i know i should because otherwise i have no chance of making it through year 12....
sigh, well i thinmk i shall go, make my bed, and read for a bit
maybe comb fudge, seeing as she is still wet from her bath...
later xoxo
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
The time has come...
Yes, it is that time to blog again.
I love my life, i would hate to lose it. But there are some days where i wonder what it would be like to slip away and dissapear, start again somewhere new.
I have always wanted a family, one of my own making, and i've always thought if i were to ever fall accidentally pregnant, i would pack up, and move north, central coast, or QLD or something. Become a young mother and work, barely surviving, then maybe later on, move back to Sydney. But i know deep down, that i wouldn't be able to pull anything like that off. Besides, i want to be rich and famous too much.
The dream of modelling is still there, acting, being an entertainer, designing, i want to do it all, i just know i can't and if i try i'll burn out. But for the moment i dream. I dream of the drug like high that life can give, yet also of the darkness it shadows some with.
I desperately want to be everything my parents weren't able to be. To go where their fears would not let them, and where their actions could not carry them. But at the same time, i dream of staying, carrying on dads legacy of the company. The family business and carrying it on that extra generation.
Well we shall see...
bye bye now...
I love my life, i would hate to lose it. But there are some days where i wonder what it would be like to slip away and dissapear, start again somewhere new.
I have always wanted a family, one of my own making, and i've always thought if i were to ever fall accidentally pregnant, i would pack up, and move north, central coast, or QLD or something. Become a young mother and work, barely surviving, then maybe later on, move back to Sydney. But i know deep down, that i wouldn't be able to pull anything like that off. Besides, i want to be rich and famous too much.
The dream of modelling is still there, acting, being an entertainer, designing, i want to do it all, i just know i can't and if i try i'll burn out. But for the moment i dream. I dream of the drug like high that life can give, yet also of the darkness it shadows some with.
I desperately want to be everything my parents weren't able to be. To go where their fears would not let them, and where their actions could not carry them. But at the same time, i dream of staying, carrying on dads legacy of the company. The family business and carrying it on that extra generation.
Well we shall see...
bye bye now...
Friday, January 06, 2006
25.15.21. 1.18.5. 19.9.12.12.25.!
Well nothing much is new, been working a fair bit, and getting paid which is good. So now i may have a chance of saving up some money at least. Well there's hope, but knowing me i'll go shopping and spend it all again soon.
Living with dad is going ok, so far. Its interesting,. because i don't miss mum, and even though he has had a few drinks since we moved in, its not been that bad. Tonight is the only really iffy one so far, and apart from that there was New Years Eve, which i will excuse.
Well for the moment i shall leave this, because i can't think of much more to say for the time being...
8.5.8.5.8.5. 9.6. 25.15.21. 3.1.14. 18.5.1.4. 20.9.19. 20.8.5.14. 25.15.21. 1.18.5. 19.9.12.12.25!
Living with dad is going ok, so far. Its interesting,. because i don't miss mum, and even though he has had a few drinks since we moved in, its not been that bad. Tonight is the only really iffy one so far, and apart from that there was New Years Eve, which i will excuse.
Well for the moment i shall leave this, because i can't think of much more to say for the time being...
8.5.8.5.8.5. 9.6. 25.15.21. 3.1.14. 18.5.1.4. 20.9.19. 20.8.5.14. 25.15.21. 1.18.5. 19.9.12.12.25!
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Hello world, Yes i am still alive!
Oh My Gosh! It has literally been ages since i have blogged here! Mostly because i have been without an internet connection since christmas! OMG it has been ages!!! :O Seriously suffering from withdrawal symptoms! :P
lol in any case, New Years Eve was great with Joe and his family, Garden Island was so fun. Dad and i are now happily settled in the new place, although not entirely unpacked, but yeh. So everything is basically fine and in order! Mum is missing me, but shes doing fine really.
in other news, well there isnt a lot happening in other news. So i shall leave this entry as it stands, purely as a reminder to the world of my existance :P
lol in any case, New Years Eve was great with Joe and his family, Garden Island was so fun. Dad and i are now happily settled in the new place, although not entirely unpacked, but yeh. So everything is basically fine and in order! Mum is missing me, but shes doing fine really.
in other news, well there isnt a lot happening in other news. So i shall leave this entry as it stands, purely as a reminder to the world of my existance :P
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