Yes, it is that time to blog again.
I love my life, i would hate to lose it. But there are some days where i wonder what it would be like to slip away and dissapear, start again somewhere new.
I have always wanted a family, one of my own making, and i've always thought if i were to ever fall accidentally pregnant, i would pack up, and move north, central coast, or QLD or something. Become a young mother and work, barely surviving, then maybe later on, move back to Sydney. But i know deep down, that i wouldn't be able to pull anything like that off. Besides, i want to be rich and famous too much.
The dream of modelling is still there, acting, being an entertainer, designing, i want to do it all, i just know i can't and if i try i'll burn out. But for the moment i dream. I dream of the drug like high that life can give, yet also of the darkness it shadows some with.
I desperately want to be everything my parents weren't able to be. To go where their fears would not let them, and where their actions could not carry them. But at the same time, i dream of staying, carrying on dads legacy of the company. The family business and carrying it on that extra generation.
Well we shall see...
bye bye now...
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