Car Dreams

well despite my indecision until now, i have decided on what i want my next car to be...

a Toyota MR-2, not the 2003 model as theyre $30,000+ but i like the look of the 1990 models, similar to the celica's, but with a targa top, different back end, and its a mid mounted engine with rear wheel drive.

By the time i attain this i hope to have mastered driving a manual.

so thats the goal. i just have to start saving for it :)

ps. kens wedding is cancelled :(

I miss him :'(

Man, you know whats really annoying!? I haven't seen andre for like a week, well, no, i saw him on wednesday, but that hardly counts. so excluding wednesday, i haven't seen him for over a week, and i really miss him! its so sad, and he was supposed to come over yesterday, except i called him, and he was at cronulla, and he couldn't get here. and so i'm desperatly hopng i'm going to be able to see him today! i hope! PLEASE!
But i'm really pleased with myself, cause i've gotten basically all of my schoolwork done! not including english of course. thats just never going to happen!
Oh but Nour called last night! it was so weird, and like he wants to come see me and go for a cruise so we can get to know each other and stuff. and he's going to call again next week. its weird, cause like we met him, adam and ahmed at the easter show, and like he still remembers me, and wants to see me, and its like almost 6 months later!
so yes thats me for today, i'm going to go message dad and find out how the trains are going.

Boyfriend?

Grrrrrrrr! The more hes around and the more i see him, the more i hate him! its just sooo annoying! its just too soon, i don't know! its driving me up the wall! its so not fair. Why cant she just stop it being so full on. i mean its one thing to have a bf, but another to have them dropping in twenty four seven! i just hate it! i hate his humor! i hate the way all he does is talk! and he talks all through a tv/video or anything!!!!!!!!!! you can't concentrate when he's around! I hate it, it sends shivers up my spine, and its really annoying! man i wish i had a punching bag or some thing!

*sigh* (humming) "i just don't know what to do with myself....."

Well ice-skating was great, besides the fact that i fell flat on my back, and it is now caning pretty bad. Bradley was an ok kid, i mean i vs'd him at table tennis when we got back to gregs brothers place, and yeh. so i mean all round it was a pretty ok day. The unfortunate thing is that the more i get to know greg, the more i dislike him. really annoying. i mean he's a nice guy and all, but he has a bit of a warped sense of humor, and its really annoying, cause alot of the time i don't find what he says amusing, but i have to laugh or "smile nicely" to be polite. and it really ticks me off. i guess i just take things a bit too seriously, i mean i'm still dealing with my own issues, and its just a major freak out now that mums dived into this new relatuionship. and yeh its happened so fast!

Its really hard, cause now that i've put things with andre on hold for a week, i don't know what i'm meant to do. well i know that i've got to work myself out, and work out whats going on in my head. i mean i really wish this hadn't happened, but i guess i'm glad it did, cause it gives me a chance to work things out without any real pressure. BUt truth is, i really don't know what i want. i mean, i love andre, and i never want to lose him, but this other person in my head(no names here, :P), is just confusing me. like i honestly don't know how i feel, or how i want to feel about him. Like i used to think i was pretty good friends with him, and all that cause we'd email and talk about stuff, and it was great, but thats all stopped now, just cause he's gotten so busy lately, and yeh. i mean cause thats stopped, i guess i'm questioning whether we're still friends or not. I realised the other day also that he knows alot about me, and everything, but i know very little about him. which is sad in a way, cause he's one of those people that i really want to know. But he scares me. he scares me beyond belief. i'm not sure why or how, but he does. And i know that if ever were to be together it would never work out cause we're just such different people. and our backgrounds, and also our beliefs are just so different. it could never work out. and i really don't know what i am to him. i know at the moment i wouldn't be much just because he has a girlfriend, and he has so much else on his mind. i don't know, maybe if i just tell him how i feel, and then leave it at that, so that its out of my system, and then go back to andre. i don't know........