bored!

well well well i'm sitting in school with nothing to do. and well yes thats the story at the moment.... in any case moving on i'm bored, nothing to do is not good for entertainment value! :P
anyways i'll blog in a bit.
luv ya!

sigh, random and frustrating day!

well today was quite odd. it was amusing, but at the same time, it proved to be quite a strange experience. well the day started out fine, and everything was good. but then vocals was off cause miss hattersley wasn't around. kind of annoying seeing as we have a performance, in a few weeks. Then i had to cancel basketball, cause we only had 5 ppl for trainging seeing as ppl had other things to do/injuries/family issues. so yeh. then this arvo i get home, and i have the most random convo with chris d. very odd. but anyways, so yeh, and with all that confusion with hannes, about what is actually happening, and stuff, but yeh i dont know................... oh well and nat isn't doing 100% but yeh, u get that sometimes :(

hey hey!!!

Omg, last night was awesom! :P lol ok, for those who don't know, i went on a date with Hannes, the swedish exchange guy in yr 12, he's cool :) and we went into the city, and it was soo cool :) i almost froze, but that was ok :P lol, so yes, we sat in a park above the opera house for ages, and it was so much fun! and i think he talked more than i did! :P
lol so yes, i don't know if we're actually going out or not, i doubt it seeing as he's going home in like a bit over a month, but yeh anyways :P :D

Mwahahaha! technology! :)

Sigh, where shall i begin? well at the begining would be a logical place, alothough not always the most effective place to start if your looking to convey a message in a certain way. as told to us by a certain stripe wearing english teacher! in anycase i would like to share with you my audience, that i am now the proud owner of a Motorola V3 mobile :P its cool :P it looks kinda big, but its thin which its cool :P only problem is i get the feeling its the same as the stripe wearing english teacher's phone... :P oh well in anycase i'm not really fussed its a cool phone :P only problem is now it won't fit into and regular mobile phone pockets :P meh but it has a camera, and its actually fairly good quality :P :)

Thoughts for the day of Saturday 21st May!

So hello hello world! well not that the world reads this, but hell, it sounds good. Ok, the movie 'Kingdom of Heaven' is really good, kinda frustrating from the historical point of view, as in hollywood, while keeping to the basic outline of the crusades, etc, had to throw in the bloody love interest! damn that hollywood romance! anyways, as for the company, well i enjoyed it, but still slightly confusing all the same.
I'm having this conflict with myself, reason a) i don't have time for a boyfriend b) i'm too commitmentphobic to go there again with any serious intent c) i really don't need a boyfriend, so why should i worry about one? and alos i have heaps of guy friends that i have fun with, so why not enjoy that? and also, i don't want to be the slut that my mother is, not that she is a slut, just at the moment shes acting like one i feel, well no she isn't, just the way she sees herself and the guys she settles for makes me think of her as in the same league as sluts. not that i can really talk, but i am changing, or at least attempting to change the way people percieve me.
i'm actually glad that not alot of people read this, it makes it easier to write what i want without risking too much insult, except as with everything you say, you need to be careful as to who MIGHT be listening, or in this case reading...... meh c'est la vie. its life, its all good, tests are over and assessments are all reletively up to date. i have very little to worry about.
Love is pointless, it never works anyway. well thats what i'm saying at the moment, love is the illusion that people need to believe in to live. I believe in love, i just don't see the point in it. i love very little, but i still enjoy and find pleasure in many things, so i am still happy without love. LOVE, the four most painful letters in the english alphabet... combined they bring pain, elation and every other emotion in between. *sigh* oh well, let people believe what they will, and die in the knowledge of life. not that that made much sense, but well, its my blog and i'll write what i want to thankyou very much! :P
Love and blessings to you all, who so choose to pass by, this, my humble abode of thoughts.
May blessings shower upon you, and may you have the sense not to open that damn umbrella!

FINISHED!!!

YAY! i finished my society and culture essay! only after it being overdue for over a month! well yes thats news for this moment! :P

life, roads, death, and wedding dresses!

As i traverse this wonderful path which i shall call my life, i often wonder if it really is a life, or if its just a constant amble until you reach the end of the road. i mean really, this journey is just a quest for the end, with some nice by-products along the way... sigh, yes this is my outlook at the moment... well sort of... mum and i have a wedding expo on sunday, at royal prince alfred yacht club... i really don't feel like walking around in wedding dresses all day... it just seems so weird now! oh well, i've already said yes, so i can deal with it. well life works in mysterious ways, and i really wish i knew the best way to pull myself together, but hoonestly i don't know how... well no i do, just i know too many ways... sigh, well c'est la vie, and it goes on.

oh yeh! its black friday! :D

sigh, another black friday has come and gone.......... and nothing hugely disasterous happened! lol
shopping tomorrow, and jacks first birthday party on sunday! :D yay!
sigh, tired going to sleep now, bye byes!

at school!!!! :P ooooo! naughty naughty!

hey hey hey! well greetings and salutations, i'm at school in business services blogging, with nikki yelling at me telling me i've left a message on her blog thing, i don't know either, yeh she has a new one at seriah. somesomething, i don't know exactly what it is, i know i could ask what it is now, but i seriously can't be bothered! sigh, i need to talk to people...
and we're going shopping at the mall tomorrow, and we're going to pick up hot guys and get raped!!!!! lol no just jokes, but still its whats likely to happen knowing the guys we manage to run into!!!! :P
lol, anyways, i shall leave this here cause the bell just went!!!!

Why are matters of the heart so complicated?

well life can be lovely and complicated can't it! i just found out that one of my ex-boyfriends, who has a wonderful girlfriend now, thinks he's beginning to like me again! i feel so sorry for him, Pete loves his gf, and he's so torn up over this! i really don't know what to do, or what to say to make him feel better, i've told him i wouldn't go back, but he's still going insane over it :(
oh well, all shall be resolved with time i guess...

mini blog note!

well hey hey hey! Ms stevens is slightly frustrating, and i have no idea how i'm gonna cope with it if i keep having bad days!
oh well, i'll just have to deal i guess, sigh, i love guy friends, their fun :) and they're brothers are funny :P hehehehe I've got a yr 10er hitting on me! :P
lol okies thats enough for now!
luv ya! xoxoxo

Some people. HONESTLY!

Well some peopl just don't get it do they! i mean you tell them something doesn't work, or doesn't match, or doesn't look good, they adhere to it for one day, and then its gone! WHOOSH! OUT THE WINDOW! :P lol yeh well what can expect when giving teachers fashion advise, honestly clashing stripes! i mean sure clashing textures is good, but clashing stripes is a definite no no!
Honestly! sometimes i just wish i had a gun!

News on my life :'(

well, the past week has been an absolute mess. For those who i haven't told, or spoken to yet, well this might be a bit of a shock, or at least an explanation for how i have been over the past week, or however long this has been running through my head.
Well starting from the beginning as all good recounts do, my dad, never used to drink. His father, we think he was an alcoholic, left him the family business when he died. Unfortunatly he didn't just leav it to dad though, he left it to all three of his kids, which meant dad had to buy his two sisters out of the business if it was actually going to run properly. this is when we think he started drinking, although it wasn't serious, not yet. So years pass, and life is reletively good, well for me at least, dads friends teach him how to drink, and it becomes more and more frequent. His second marriage to my mother deteriorated, and for the past 6-7 years i've been with mum, and dads, basically been living on his own. He's had girlfriends, still has them, and has managed to survive this far, except, it hasn't been without the alcohol. His drinking problem, has slowly, but progressively gotten worse. He's stopped for a couple of months every now aand then, but this time, its just gone crazy.
We don't know why he does it, we thought we did, but this time has made us realise that we really have no idea whats going on in his head, we have no, or very little concept of what he is going through. Its hurting everyone around him, especially his kids. We just want to see him happy, but now we realise we haven't really seen him happy for a very long time.
So this is what has been getting at me for the past week or so, nothing hugely disasterous, at the moment he is staying at Sheree's for a bit, i'm not sure how long, we'll see, but hopefully it might help.
I'm going to stop now, or else i'm going to start crying, and get the keyboard all wet. :'(

sigh, i love them but damn family can be complicated sometimes!

Sigh, i love the boys, my nephews i mean, they are so adorable, and fun, and they're such a handful that you have to love them! babysitting them last night was such a treat, and then playiong around this morning :) but yes moving on...
i love the idea my sister had of having a secret just siblings christmas party, i mean, to have a christmas without the complications of parents, different partners of parents, etc, and having everyone there just being happy to see everyone, and not just half the people there, it would be so awesom! anyways thats my life, secrets, family, love and hate :) oh its great fun!
sigh broken families are becoming so common, for my generation anyway, but its so annoying that not everyone understands what it really can be like. i mean u meet someone with a whole family still, and they ask, and trying to explain is so hard cause even though they try their hardest to understand, they still haven't experienced it, so they can never fully understand. it makes it very hard sometimes. Except at the same time, you meet someone with a normal family, and they are the most understanding caring people and they can sometimes be more help than someone who knows what your going on about......
sigh tis the mysteries of life...