:D smily face!

i dont mean to be maiking this irregular blogging a habit...

OMG I FUCKED UP MY ENGLISH PRESENTATION SO BADLY!!!!
i felt so aweful standing up there, but i had to keep going, i felt like i was going to feint! it was terrible, i haven't had that feeling since like yr 6! it was rather scary!

oh well thats in the past, cant change it now.

sigh, i really dont get people some days.

yes this is going to be a rather pointless ramble of a blog entry.

oh well thats the way it goes sometimes.......
i am seriously seeing the world through rose coloured glasses at the moment... :P no specific reason, HONEST!!! :P
gotta love those boys :p
:D dont ask unless you already know!!!

'i dont mind as long as you continue to make me smile more than anyone else'
:D:D:D:D:D no i'm not happy at the moment!

wow, its almost a week!

Wow, i just realised that i just went for about 4 days without bloging! Thats a big thing for me! :O wow!

anyways, despite being slightly out of it at the moment, everything is cruising along reletively ok. Elected captains today, David and Ashley got captain, with Jess and Meihgan, James and Nick as vice captains. They should do a brilliant job, and i'm happy with the outcome, although i would have preffered Jarryd over Nick, but thats just my opinion.

We had the bra workshop yesterday, which was cool. I'm actually really pleased with the way mine turned out, especially considering that it was my first attempt at bra making. :P

wednesday we lost at basketball, and well i mean it was fun season. i enjoyed it. so the final game really wasnt that important, but i'm still annoyed at the people who shirked their responsibilities.

anyways, we can't change the past. only i wish we could change the predetirmined future! I'm so not going to have my assessment for extention english ready!!! :P nor am i going to get my textiles assessment done in time either, but we shall see. Maybe i will. Maybe... if i work bloody hard all weekend, i might have a chance...

speaking of which i should probably go, and see about that working hard idea...
luv yas! xoxoxo

What A Weekend!!!

WOW this weekend was so awesom!

well first off matt came round on saturday, it was so good to see him and hang out and everything :)

then we had movie night at kirsty's whichh was cool, and insightful as well. CONSTANTINE IS SUCH A COOL MOVIE! :P sorry, had to say that! :P didnt get to sleep til about 5 in the morning though!

then on Sunday, my uncle Bruce came picked me up from Kirsty's, only catch i wa still asleep, and i didnt have my phone on, and so yeh, mum called and stuff happened, and sp he went off and came back about an hour later to pick me up. From there we went to his brother in laws for a little barbecue get together thing, which was really fun. Then about 3 we head back to Chatswood, and hung out here for a bit. until mum got home, but it was really cool to have a chat and all, so yeh.

then went off to work, which was odd, seeing as despite a serious lack of sleep i was quite hyper! :P so yes, that was good actually and resulted in a very very enjoyable weekend. :)

luv ya's!

I'm sorry, so sorry, why do we live like this?

Well I don’t know how I end up doing it some day’s. It seemed there wasn’t one person I didn’t annoy today! I don’t know exactly how I did it with some, and I don’t know how to go about fixing things.

Sigh, I’m sorry everyone. I really am. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m over reacting and doing stupid things.

While I am here, I have a few things I would like to say, even though I will say them in person soon enough:

I’m sorry to Kelly, firstly for going out with Matt without checking with you first, and for going with Marvin to his formal, even as an extra, and also for going to Damien's formal, and inviting him to ours, i wasn't thinking.

I’m sorry to Nikki, for biting you today, I over reacted, and I didn’t intend to hurt you.

I’m sorry to Ash, not for any particular reason, I just felt guilty today as if I had done something wrong.

And I’m sorry to everyone for the way I complain and whine, even though Nikki seems to be the only one who mentions it. I know it’s annoying for everyone to continually hear my crap, but I do listen to you guys most of the time.

I know that I haven’t been the most saintly person throughout my life. But I try to do what’s right, I don’t know if that’s helped things or made it harder, but it’s the way I’ve tried to live.

Everyone knows my situation with family. I’m sure you’ve heard it often enough and I would have hoped that that should lend some understanding to why I’m a bit off some days. Although I understand that sometimes it’s not that obvious or easy.

I shall leave this blog here, and hope for the best.

Life Goes On...

The time has come once more for me to add to my blog.

I don’t know exactly what about, but as I am obsessed with writing ceaseless babble, I’m sure I shall fill the space somehow.

Actually my internet is being a bitch, and not cooperating, so I’m writing this in a word document, hence why there are less typos than usual! WOW! Anyway, I don’t entirely understand my computers problem, I know it’s entitled to have its own private issues that it may not necessarily want to share, but all the same, it’s no reason for it to take it out on its defenceless users!

Sigh; oh well back to sitting uselessly in front of a box!

In any case, other news is not as forthcoming; however, I am beginning to see the group I’m in fray. Not so much in a bad way, just we’re all growing into ourselves, and the group we’re in is not as accommodating for that growth as we would like it to be. That’s just my spin on it though; naturally everyone else is going to have different ideas about it all. Although I do feel that the little group we used to have, has really been abolished. Everyone is going in what direction feels right for them, and I’m beginning to feel a sort of melancholy looking back at how we were compared to how we are now. Not that I regret the changes, just it shows how much we have grown, and proves that change is inevitable, and no one is constant.

On that note, I am seeing Matt on Saturday, which I am very happy about. It will be good to see him again; I admit I have missed him. Although I’m beginning to think I don’t want him back as much as I used to. However, I’m sure that it will all come crashing down when I see him again, and when he goes I will have to pull out the bricks and mortar again. Damn those flimsy emotional brick walls!

Sigh, well in other news, I told mum I hated Greg. I don’t know exactly how she took it, but I got and ‘oh’ response. I knew that she didn’t realise, and if she had she wouldn’t have said yes to the moving in thing as quickly as she did, which she did begin to talk about, except I stopped her, seeing as I didn’t want to hear it, and I knew pretty much what was going to be said. I don’t know how that went either, but I’m guessing not too bad. My mother infuriates me some days.

Well what else do you do about life? Nothing much can be done. Even for your nearest and dearest, sometimes love isn’t enough to keep them above board. Even with the best intention things go wrong sometimes.

As I said, I didn’t know what I was going to blog about, but as it happens I have almost filled an A4 page in word. I think its now time for me to go.

Its now time for sleep and recuperation.

wheres the wall?

well life is an interesting concept, somehow i think mine is doomed.

Mr b was trying to have a go at me for not going to class yesterday, and i dont know, i just got annoyed that he wouldnt just accept the fact that i didnt go because i didnt have my stuff and too tired etc, so i just walked out. Not such a good idea in retrospect, but all the same i'm working on the wall, but it keeps getting knowcked down. a useless irrelevant metaphor, but i don't care.

in anycase, i honestly have no idea what i want at the moment, in relation to anything really... my life is just confusing me at the moment, i know i worry too much, an i know i need to stress less, but the trouble is, alot of those traits make up part of me. anyways, i guess they're part of me that i should learn to live without.

'Oh these men these men!' in the words of Desdemona. a sentiment which i share at present... i wont say any more than that on the matter.

and where are the damn bricks, i need to build this bloody wall! why does he have to be so irritating as to come along and knock it down just as i think i'm finishing it and blocking him out!

sigh, some things in life will never make sense entirely will they? oh well, not really an issue, its fun all the same :P

and now moving on to other news. well there isnt much other news... just that today we had the leadership day, and i didnt go to extention english afterwards, which i'm going to get crap for tomorrow, bu i really don't care... :P

and i got stood up again! well not really, just joe didnt show up for lunch today... but thats ok i guess, i'll just have to kick his butt later :P jks

so yes, that was my day, it was so good to sleep in though!!! :P

so we shall see what the rest of the week brings :P

luv yas! xoxoxo

spare me the details!

well lets see, squeaking bed syndrome continues, if u don't understand that then don't ask, i am not going to explain it to you if i a havent already.

so yes moving on, three assessments for textiles in two periods! whoah! way to much! :P
anyways thats something i'll get over.

sigh, some people confuse me, and i dont like it seeing as then i am not in any sort of control or whatever, but yeh anyways. if your thinking that i'm talking about you, you're probably wrong.. :P

luv yas! xoxoxo

sigh, sleep needed!

what a day, what a day, well TAS parade re-run this morning was good, sortof. a bit chaotic as usual, but otherwise good.
in the meantime, things are going ok, excluding that ancient history assignment, society and culture, and the fact that gregs moving in in 4 weeks, and that i really should talk to mum, but i really dont want to.
other than that things are good! :P
i guess that about sums things up for the moment, and just so everyone gets the point.. IT IS NOT A HICKIE ON MY NECK! IT IS ECZMA!!!
i even had a teacher ask me!!! *o* so shocking!
sleep now!

TAS! AHHH STRESS OUT!

hello world!? how is everybody on this bright and sunny day!
well i must say i am absolutly exhausted, and i am feeling exceptionally shitty!
so yes, well the TAS parade went as well as could be expected. despite a few mix ups with dance moves and music, it all went comparitavely well to last year and such.
in anycase i must go, and do the tas parade again, for the mimosa kids.
oh yay!

words, colour and movement!

another envetful day has passed me by in the lead up to TAS. rehersals at lunch went as well as can be expected, and i have to go in early tomorrow as well, so shall be fun. The night will go well if all goes according to plan. Heres hoping!

otherwise life is ok at the moment, i have the train exhibition this weekend which shall be good. I GET TO SEE MY DADDY!!! :D
i'm happy :)

its exzma!

well my computer is a skanky hoe!
and life is cruisey once more, except the TAS parade, and that ancient history thing, and the whole extension english stuff, oh and the society and culture assignment i had forgotten about... :P
but yes otherwise things are going ok
i do not have a hickie on my neck... it is eczma or other associated dermological mishap.
anyways
moving on
lets get away from this place
i want to run and hide
in some new escape
long ago
far away
i knew of a place
that could take my pain away.

http://itsallachemicalreaction.blogspot.com

Distracting and Intimidating... hmmm......

Well lets see, whats new and interesting?

Well lets start with last night!
:P yes, it was Joe's movie/pool night, and it was quite entertaining. Pool had to be my highlight, and beating both Tom, and Joe at it. I'm not sure ifi beat Ryan or not, i dont think i did, but i cant quite remember. Which i can happily attribute to the two and a half shot glasses of Jim Beam which i consumed on an empty stomach in less than an hour. The not so good part of that was the minute or so massive headspin. and ensueing headache, but that subsided, and i felt quite alright.
Another interesting thing to come out of the night, we were watching the movioe Battle Royale, quite an odd flick, and i would have sat through it had it not been for the pool table... in anycase, ended up playing with Tom and Ryan, after both their girlfriends had already left. So anyway, we were playing, and somehow it came up in conversation that i was distracting to males, and intimidating to females, i am yet to grasp exactly how it all fits. But according to Ryan, Nadia left because she got annoyed at him for 'checking me out'. Which he hadn't. It was a misunderstanding, when he spent too long trying to read my shirt. Which took him longer than usual due to his slightly intoxicated state. so yes, thats the verdict on moi. Distracting and Intimidating....

in other news, the TAS display is coming along, its an odd thing to organise, and i'm not 100% sure that its going to work as planned, but i'm hoping feverishly that it will.

so otherwise not much has happened, i have spent most of my weekend beading my skirt for the TAS parade, quite a chore might i add. and i still have the zip and waist band to go.

so i shall leave this entry here, and i shall return with more updates on my life later :)

'so you had a bad day, you've taken one down, you sing a sad song just to turn it aroundyou say you don't know, you tell me don't lie, you work at the smile and you go for a ride'

:D

Thursdays..

i haven't blogged in a while, not alot new has happened.
same old crap with greg, family issues, starting to worry about dad a bit, cause its getting to the stage where if he's not careful he'll slip up agian, and fall back into the hole where he was...
the usual guy troubles are there, and things with school work are trying to sort themselves out, with some assistance from me, so i guess its all going ok at the moment. i just wish i didnt get so tired....
Ballet was good tonight, just i was very very rusty, it has been so long since i have gone to a class! its been about 6 weeks i think! :P
in any case TAS display coming up! :D shall be good, provided everything runs smoothly :P which i very much doubt, but in anycase we can hope.
i shall keep you posted on anything new and interesting that happens,
but the highlight of today, which i just remembered, would have to be 'causing' mr barnes to drop his coffee mug which rob and the other guys gave him for his birthday :P it was quite amusing, as nikki and i found, even though we really had nothing to do with it at all! :P *cough cough*
in any case, see you all later
xoxoxo