Awkwardness...

Well, things aren't too bad at present. I think i'm doing ok. School is being a bit of a bitch,
especially in relation to DT, and whether i want to continue it or not. Its not a matter whether i enjoy it or not at the moment, its the fact of whether i will be able to handle it, and whether i think i can do well in it.

On current trends i really don't think i will be able to, although, i know with some effort i could make it. However with the present state of the class, i don't know how the tension will be broken, and whether we will survive it. Ms Steven's knows her stuff, we know that, but its pointless if we're not learning it from her. This is also part of the reason i'm reconsidering my position in the course.

My only worry is if i drop, i will only have 10 units, which means i would have to do well in all of them to get the decent mark i want, and i wouldn't have the safety net i have now. Even though, without the third major work, and the extra free periods, i could probably manage better. Its a situation that could slide either way really, so i guess i shall bide my time for the present.


In other aspects of my life, well Greg is an awkward element of my life, as is mum and dad. Greg is making a lot of changes here, and not all of them do i like, or agree with, yet i'm seeing the logic, which i hate. Dad at the moment is a mystery. I don't know whats going on, and i feel that he is drifting further and further away from me. I feel guilty about it as well, because i feel like its my fault that he has drifted as far as he has, because i haven't thrown him a line, to even keep him withing calling range. Sorry about the metaphor, but thats how it feels.

Mum is another dificulty, because at the moment, i'm frustrated with her for the whole Greg situation, and some of the Dad situation, but i don't know what i want to do about it. I feel like i want to break away, and set out on my own, but at the same time i know that mum needs me. I'm scared to leave her, even though she's making her own family now, and i really dont want to be a part of this new thing.

anyway. I don't know what i'm doing at the moment, so i shall leave, and endeavor to do something constructive.