The Highs and Lows of Life

Well, i must say, there have been some definative highs and lows recently in my world.

Although i must say, there are some that are not going to be mentioned here... and hopefully will be forgotten by those who know...

Sigh, if you read this spot close to regularly, you might remember somthing about 'the happiest girl in the world' etc, due to the fact that the plan was to move in with my dad in january. Well that was a very high high. Which unfortunately has gone down hill rather rapidly in the past few days. Dad has not been in good shape lately, and has had more 'off' days than 'on'. Meaning, his drinking habit is not improving by any great deal. And so in light o fthis, mum said last night, that if things continue as they are, she won't be able to trust him to let me move in with him. Thus leaving me to reside at Chatswood.

To add to this dilema, Greg is probably going to move in within the next two weeks.

I'm not actually saying alot of this out loud, mainly because i'm scared that if i do, it will become more of the reality than it already is.

I'm hoping to talk to my dad soon, hopefully when he's sober, and talking to him. Hopefully if he knows whats at stake, he might find the resilience to pull through, at least for a while.

i have to admit i was scared of this happening when the arrangement was first thought of, cause i know that, even if he can stay above board for a while, there will always be slip ups. And even though i like to think that he doesn't drink as much or at all when i'm around, i know that its not always true.

I'm just hoping that by having someone with him, living with him, it might be the push that he needs, as well as the support he needs.

I have to say though that this is not the best start to year 12.....

btw, if you read this, i will talk about it, but i would rather not jinx it, and as i said, i'm scared that talking about it will make it more real than it already is. . .

Never fear though, if it gets to breaking point, i will get help, just not right now...

ciao for now....