crying...

well i have no idea what is going on. I'm a mess, and i have no idea nor reason as to why. I feel aweful, due in part to the rather painful cist behind my ear, but all the same, its not just that that it making me feel terrible. i am just so tired. thats what i always say i know, but i am just so tired!
i have problems concentrating, and staying on task, and getting work done, its driving me up the wall. i want to be all i can, except at the moment i just don't have the energy! honestly i feel like a walking corpse, a being without shape or form to name, a person who exists only to vanish whne someone turns away!

my mother this evening, when i suggested 'i'm alcoholic' for my jersey, just said 'oh!' and i know i hadn't thought it through, and it was a bit of a surprise i would imagine, but i didn't expect her to be so negative about it, or sound so negative about it, all i wanted was a luagh, seeing as my name, even though spelt sheri, is pronounced sherry, like the drink, and sheriden is even an alcoholic drink. i hadn't even thought about the relevance to my father, :( and i just don't know why, but i just semi snapped and went into my room, and mum comes in, 'are you alright?' and i'm just like yeh i'm fine, and i have tears welling up in my eyes, and i just don't know why i keep crying!

it was three times yesterday after i got home, and today its already been about 3, and i feel like i'm about to start bawling again, and honestly i just don't know why!!!!

oh well, tears shall fall, and die, and maybe they shall explain themselves later.