Welcome to my Three Ring Circus of a Life!
I feel so lost. . . Everything seems so out of place, and disjointed. My life feels like a mess, yet its still managing to hold itself together, with such stubborness, that it doesnt look like it will ever fall apart completely. Which at the moment, i'm thinking might be the better option.
My dad is so frustrating, and draining, and its so damn hard! His drinking, its so unpredictable. ANd the issues its raised, and the contention it causes. i feel so alone, because mum knows things, and experiences it, and sees whats happeneing, but no longer tells me everything, and yet it still affects me. As well as the Greg situation, its becoming too hard, yet not so hard i can't appear to cope.
There are days when i just wish something would happen to break all this apart, and i know its horrible, but i just wish he, or she, could die, or go away, disapear, or something, and then i can grieve, and get over it. Not have this constant renewal of pain and frustration.
I feel like i have an obligation to be a 'good' daughter to both of them, and yet at the same time, i'm dying to break away from this life. i just want to run away...
Gregs moving in this weekend...
I don't know how i'll go with that... i really want everything to fall apart... it seems so much more appealing, and so much easier to deal with than this...
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Hey, I've read some of your posts - you seem very sad indeed. Come over and hang at my blog if you like - you'll have a laugh and you just might read something that's the answer...
This is NOT spam by the way (notice how I've picked up on your mood) automated spammers can't do that). I'm an Australian, 33 with a wonderful wife and two great kids. At the moment we're feeling pretty down - I don't have a job and we have nowhere to live. But... well, you'll just have to have a read...
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